this is the source…
Na me find trouble. No wahala.
I just asked one girl how school?? And she said she has
graduated. Then I asked her “have you done your NYSC?”
She replied: Seriously, I didn’t do that course, because it is
purely
calculations.
#I_FELT_LIKE_CRYING.Chaaaiiiii
?????
So my mum finally joined Facebook LAST LAST and this
evening she started complaining to me.
She said, “chai this Facebook registration dey chop money o.”
“Mummy I no understand how?” I asked.
She sighed and said: “Since wey I tell
your brother to register me on Facebook, na so-so money I dey spend.”
I was confused, I didn’t understand what my mum was talking about. But after a
while I got a clue and then asked: “Oh ok,
Mummy na MB dey chop your money?”
She raised eye brows and said: “Ah, which one be MB nah? I
hope say I no go pay for that one o, because I don pay 8k for
chatting permit, 10k for friend request fee, 3k for posting fee, 6k for profile picture
permit and this evening again, your brother don talk say Facebook say make
I bring 5k for international Facebook passport., I don tire! Na so una dey spend
money for this thing?”
Me i come say she go need Facebook Verification Number (FVN) and that
one is 20k only!!! .
Did I do anything wrong???
Happy Sunday o
Are you ready!
All game freaks are invited.
My CV
Personal Details
Name : JESUS CHRIST
Address : Ephesians 1:20
Phone : Romans 10:13
Website : Bible
Keywords : Christ, Lord, Savior and Jesus
My name is Jesus – The Christ. Many call me Lord! I’ve sent you my CV because I’m seeking the top management position in your heart. Feel free to read my details below.
Qualifications
I founded the earth and established the heavens, (see Proverbs 3:19)
I formed man from the dust of the ground, (see Genesis 2:7)
I breathed into man the breath of life, (see Genesis 2:7)
I redeemed man from the curse of the law, (see Galatians 3:13)
The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant come upon your life through me, (see Galatians 3:14)
Occupational Background
I’ve only had one employer, (see Luke 2:49).
I’ve never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.
My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (see Matthew 3:15-17).
Skills and Work Experiences
Some of my skills and work experiences include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty them that are bruised, (see Luke 4:18).
I am a Wonderful Counselor, (see Isaiah 9:6). People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (see Proverbs 1:33).
Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins, (see I John 1:7-9)
Educational Background
I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (see Proverbs 2:6).
In me are hidden all of the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (see Colossians 2:3).
My Word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path, (see Psalms 119:105).
I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (see Psalms 44:21).
Major Accomplishments
I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times, (see Genesis 1:26).
I laid down my life so that you may live, (see II Corinthians 5:15).
I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (see Colossians 2:15).
I’ve miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead!
There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here.
You can read them on my website, which is located at: www.the BIBLE.
You don’t need an Internet connection or computer to access it.
References
Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration, supernatural guidance Bro Shine can testify to that.
Summary
Now that you’ve read my CV, I’m confident that I’m the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart.
In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (see Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (see John 6:47).
When can I start? Time is of the essence, (see Hebrews 3:15).
JUST ASK ME TO START FROM YOUR HEART AND I PROMISE TO START IMMEDIATELY.(Rom. 10:9-10)
God bless you all as we invite Lord Jesus into our heart everyday.
Send this CV to everyone you know, you never know who may have an opening for me !
Shalom..
It has been confirmed that the YBNL boss Olamide Baddo has just bagged a Glo endorsement.
Details of the good news is yet to fully circulate but he is the new king on the board. We are saying congratulations to the Baddo.
Singers!!!
1- A Bassist who is Insecure would detune the Strings after playing especially when another bassist would be playing after him. That’s one reason most bassists carry their own Guitars to programs.
2- An Insecure Keyboardist would Transpose the Keyboard and would leave it like that, so the next player comes to play a wrong key. Abi you remember the Musical Rockshow days.
3- A singer who is Insecure does not want anyone else to lead the Songs.
4- A Singer who is Insecure does not Back other Singers. They always have excuses.
5- A drummer who is Insecure would Hide the Drum Sticks and Key.
6- A Singer who is Insecure does not Befriend other Singers who are better than Him/Her.
7- A Music Director Who is Insecure does not Encourage his choir members to join other groups.
8- A Music Director who is Insecure would never invite other good Directors to come Help His Choir.
9- An Insecure Sound Engineer would always Sabotage Singers and Musicians. He won’t Open the Thing.
10- A Music Director who is Insecure does not take suggestions, He alone decides on the Songs and arrangement. Even when there is an Assistant he would make him Redundant.
11- An Insecure Music Pastor Does not allow anyone to Lead the Worship. You can lead Praises, Only Him is Holy and Qualified to Lead Worship, abi I no dey Loi!!
12- An Insecure Praise and Worship Leader would Connive with the Insecure Keyboardist to Sabotage the Secure Singer who carries a different unction.
13- An Insecure Choir Leader sees any Potential leader as a Threat, for that Matter they Would Victimize you till you Leave.
14- An Insecure Singer when backing someone either Spoils the Songs or Just opens the mouth but don’t Sing. Even when they do its in aloofness.
15- An insecure Musician would refuse to come to rehearsals at all or come very late just because there is this New Guy who’s good and can play better.
16- An Insecure Keyboardist would Play Eflat instead of Bflat just to Sabotage your Ministration. When you Confront him he’ll boldly tell you he heard Eflat. How many guys Sing in Eflat? When its a lady its Vice versa.
17- An insecure Musician who’s in love with one fine girl in the Choir, but she falls for another guy becomes Victims in Progress. He’ll make sure both of you know no Peace.
18- An insecure Engineer would fix very good Sound for the People He likes, Sorry for you if you fall into his bad books.
19- An insecure Singer can easily Persuade the MC to Call him/her or their favourite instead of the Person who’s Ready to deliver. I’ve seen this so many Times.
20- An insecure Musician/ Singer Sows Discord Among brethren Everywhere they Go.
I was Inspired to Write this, I know some people would Plagiarize, but all the Same This Should Get to Every Music Platforms, I Believe Some people Would Change, Some Would Also Understand Why Some people behave the Way they Do.
Forward This To Every:
Chorister
Musicians
Praise And Worship leaders
Soloists
Backing Vocalists and Anybody who has anything to Do with Music let the change begin with you.
God bless you and have a nice day ahead.
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Ben Murray Bruce posted on Facebook a response of GEJ after an apology was made on behalf of Muhammed Deedee who criticized the former president on twitter over the critical fall of the Naira. But compared to the reality of today under the government of Buhari, he realized his mistake and begged Mr Ben to apologize to former president on his behalf. There goes the munch.
How the fight started.
After church on Sunday, a wife saw her husband sitting quietly in the garden. She got concerned and decided to ask him,
Wife: Hey darling, why are you sitting so quietly in the garden? What is it that is bothering you?
Husband:I’m still thinking about the confession of our pastor. It’s making me uncomfortable.
Wife: What is it?”
Husband: The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but ONLY ONE woman didn’t want to sleep with him because she fears God.”
Wife: It must be that Madam Comfort! She thinks she’s better than everyone of us she likes doing holy holy