Category: JOKES

​So my mum finally joined Facebook LAST LAST and this

evening she started complaining to me.

She said, “chai this Facebook registration dey chop money o.”

“Mummy I no understand how?” I asked.

She sighed and said: “Since wey I tell

your brother to register me on Facebook, na so-so money I dey spend.”

I was confused, I didn’t understand what my mum was talking about. But after a

while I got a clue and then asked: “Oh ok,

Mummy na MB dey chop your money?”

She raised eye brows and said: “Ah, which one be MB nah? I

hope say I no go pay for that one o, because I don pay 8k for

chatting permit, 10k for friend request fee, 3k for posting fee, 6k for profile picture

permit and this evening again, your brother don talk say Facebook say make

I bring 5k for international Facebook passport., I don tire! Na so una dey spend

money for this thing?”

Me i come say she go need Facebook Verification Number (FVN) and that

one is 20k only!!! .

Did I do anything wrong???

Happy Sunday o

Singers!!!

1- A Bassist who is Insecure would detune the Strings after playing especially when another bassist would be playing after him. That’s one reason most bassists carry their own Guitars to programs.

2- An Insecure Keyboardist would Transpose the Keyboard and would leave it like that, so the next player comes to play a wrong key. Abi you remember the Musical Rockshow days.

3- A singer who is Insecure does not want anyone else to lead the Songs.

4- A Singer who is Insecure does not Back other Singers. They always have excuses.

5- A drummer who is Insecure would Hide the Drum Sticks and Key.

6- A Singer who is Insecure does not Befriend other Singers who are better than Him/Her.

7- A Music Director Who is Insecure does not Encourage his choir members to join other groups.

8- A Music Director who is Insecure would never invite other good Directors to come Help His Choir.

9- An Insecure Sound Engineer would always Sabotage Singers and Musicians. He won’t Open the Thing.

10- A Music Director who is Insecure does not take suggestions, He alone decides on the Songs and arrangement. Even when there is an Assistant he would make him Redundant.

11- An Insecure Music Pastor Does not allow anyone to Lead the Worship. You can lead Praises, Only Him is Holy and Qualified to Lead Worship, abi I no dey Loi!!

12- An Insecure Praise and Worship Leader would Connive with the Insecure Keyboardist to Sabotage the Secure Singer who carries a different unction.

13- An Insecure Choir Leader sees any Potential leader as a Threat, for that Matter they Would Victimize you till you Leave.

14- An Insecure Singer when backing someone either Spoils the Songs or Just opens the mouth but don’t Sing. Even when they do its in aloofness.

15- An insecure Musician would refuse to come to rehearsals at all or come very late just because there is this New Guy who’s good and can play better.

16- An Insecure Keyboardist would Play Eflat instead of Bflat just to Sabotage your Ministration. When you Confront him he’ll boldly tell you he heard Eflat. How many guys Sing in Eflat? When its a lady its Vice versa.

17- An insecure Musician who’s in love with one fine girl in the Choir, but she falls for another guy becomes Victims in Progress. He’ll make sure both of you know no Peace.

18- An insecure Engineer would fix very good Sound for the People He likes, Sorry for you if you fall into his bad books.

19- An insecure Singer can easily Persuade the MC to Call him/her or their favourite instead of the Person who’s Ready to deliver. I’ve seen this so many Times.

20- An insecure Musician/ Singer Sows Discord Among brethren Everywhere they Go.
I was Inspired to Write this, I know some people would Plagiarize, but all the Same This Should Get to Every Music Platforms, I Believe Some people Would Change, Some Would Also Understand Why Some people behave the Way they Do.

Forward This To Every:

Chorister

Musicians

Praise And Worship leaders

Soloists

Backing Vocalists and Anybody who has anything to Do with Music let the change begin with you.

God bless you and have a nice day ahead.

​How the fight started.

After church on Sunday, a wife saw her husband sitting quietly in the garden. She got concerned and decided to ask him,

Wife: Hey darling, why are you sitting so quietly in the garden? What is it that is bothering you?

Husband:I’m still thinking about the confession of our pastor. It’s making me uncomfortable.

Wife: What is it?”

Husband: The pastor confessed he slept with all married and single women in the church but ONLY ONE woman didn’t want to sleep with him because she fears God.”

Wife: It must be that Madam Comfort! She thinks she’s better than everyone of us she likes doing holy holy

​JOKE !

My pastor told me to help him give a phone Engineer his phone this morning for repair. On my way to the shopping complex i put the phone inside my pocket and i accidentally posted::::

“sdjmhryuiowq kdfshjsvfjj tokoloshika bskklspfrrrrrrrr” on my pastor’s Facebook wall.

Within an hour, over 2,500 followers had commented::::

“Amen”

“I receive it”

And about 900 people had shared the post.

What exactly is wrong with this generation? 

​I saw my neighbour fighting his friend this mourning., 
But Some people can be very annoying sha.  
How will you borrow somebody’s cloth and then slim fit it? ??

​Enjoy this one:
At a wedding ceremony  the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold  their  peace.

The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor.

 Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled  together  like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.

The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”

The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.” 

?????
LESSON: Hold judgment  until you you’ve  had all the facts. However, many times we  fire the shots  too quickly  and beautiful relationships are ruined.