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I once took a girl out on a date. It was the early stage of our friendship and I was trying to win her heart. It wasn’t an expensive date. Just go see a movie, grab a pizza and ice cream but it was expensive for me at point because I was spending all I had at that time on her. The date went great. She left feeling like a queen and I left knowing that I will drink garri for days to come.
Second date and I had to rise the bar but I knew it was suicidal, I was spending outside of my means and I can’t continue with dates like this. I was presenting a person she wanted me to be and not who I truly am. So I decided to present myself.
I told her to come over to my place. We met at my place we both trekked to a bar where they sell a plate of food for 300 and we use pure water to step down! I can’t kill myself. Babe, left feeling somewhat disappointed and I knew it was the end but I left knowing that I will surely eat in the coming days.
Most times when relationships fails it’s because we become who the other person wants us to be and not ourselves. So before you go out on a dates you ask yourself questions like; will I be able to impress her? will she like my jokes? Will she like me? Will she be interested in me? These questions are borne out of the desire to be accepted and because you place other people’s want before yours. Questions that shows that you are needy! Flip the questions. Ask yourself. Will you like her? Will you like her joke? Am I really interested in her.
This is not you been a narcissistic, far from it. It’s about understanding the fact that a relationship should primarily be about who you are. If I had presented myself in the first date with the girl without trying to impress her. I would have known right away if she liked me for who I am but sadly, I had to learn that on the second date.
If you can do expensive dates without blinking an eye by all means proceed but never for once try to satisfy another person at the expense of your neck.
As posted on FB by: Paul Word Uma
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